a story's birth is a sudden event

Notes for chapters 89–125 of Heaven Official's Blessing! This covers the first third or so of Book 3: No Paths are Bound.

Unexpectedly, before Pei Ming’s hand even touched the thing, the pot went BANG and exploded by itself.

In that instant, the air was filled with the smell of pickles, strong enough to make a man suffer a mental breakdown.

Pei Ming, who stood closest to the pot, was unfortunately covered with pickles all over; entirely flabbergasted by that pickle shower. Immediately after, the clear, sonorous voice of a woman rang in mid-air.

“General Pei is such an honourable man!”

A white-robed individual flipped out of that small pot; at first, she was only the size of a fist, but the more she flipped the bigger she became.

Xie Lian looked closer, and cried, “Lord Wind Master!”

God I've missed Shi Qingxuan. <3

At the peak of the Palace of Xianle’s prominence, it was also incomparably impressive; standing far ahead of the herd alongside the Great Martial Palace, leaving all the other heavenly officials in the dust. Now, it’d probably look quite sad. Xie Lian didn’t even need to guess to know how many of those Blessings Lanterns he’d get—definitely not a single one!

Welp, time for Hua Cheng to take that as a challenge.


Me, 50 chapters ago: Wait, Ling Wen is widely disliked? What did she do??
Me, now: ...Oh, right, misogyny.

Two stood upon that stage. One was a young general with curly hair like that of a stone lion’s mane, and although exceedingly exaggerated, he still looked heroically sprightly; so he must be portraying that young heavenly official. The other one had pointy lips and monkey cheeks; the very portrayal of a wretched clown, jumping all over the stage. When the young man faced him, he’d act serious, but greasy and loathsome; when that young man turned around, he’d make faces and take a sword to backstab; no doubt the role of a two-faced, cunning villain.

That clown performed with vigour and over-embellishment, like it was a silly, comedic play, but the reactions from the heavenly officials in the audience were vastly different. Xie Lian noticed that the officials in the lower ranks all laughed uproariously, while the higher-ranking officials like Shi Qingxuan and Shi Wudu all frowned wordlessly, not thinking it amusing whatsoever. At the same time, he also noticed veins popping suddenly on the fists of that young man beside him

Huh, that's interesting. Going by the "uproarious" laughter, it sounds like this is someone/something the two groups have wildly different opinions on, not just something only the senior officials are familiar enough with to be offended by?

“OH NO OH NO, HIS HIGHNESS QI YING WENT DOWN TO BEAT PEOPLE UP AGAIN!”

Xie Lian wondered, “Qi Ying? The Palace of Qi Ying? The Martial God of the West Quan Yizhen?”

Oh, it's Quan Yizhen! The one Shi Qingxuan previously mentioned was "a little...", right? I've been waiting to meet him!

He hurriedly asked Shi Qingxuan, “Lord Wind Master, what’s going on? What’s with His Highness Qi Ying going down to beat people up again?”

Shi Qingxuan snapped out of it and replied, “Beating people up is just…beating people up. Ahem. You might not believe it, but, Qi Ying frequently beats up his own worshippers.”

ah yes, the liu qingge approach to authority

More seriously, though, I'm cackling and I can't wait to see more of this kid. I like him already.

There were plenty of plays about Crimson Rain Sought Flower in the mortal realm. However, it was usually something like “The Red Demon Burnt the Temples of Thirty-Three Gods and Not Even The Heavens Could Do Shit”, “Crimson Rain Sought Flower Hung the Martial and Civil Gods and Slapped Them Around with But One Hand”, and so on; the kind of stories that would make those in the heavens cry silent tears, not wanting to find out just how those plays ended.

Ah, yes, the classics.

Xie Lian smiled. “I forgot to ask, how are Nan Feng and Fu Yao? How come I didn’t see them come out to play today?”

“Nan Feng…is…” Feng Xin said.

Mu Qing said flatly, “Fu Yao is in detention.”

Feng Xin immediately said, “Nan Feng is also in detention.”

Xie Lian “oh”-ed and commented, “Both of them are locked up? What a shame.”

I'm glad you're having fun, Xie Lian. :P

Shi Qingxuan couldn’t listen anymore, and jeered, “So, in General Pei’s eyes, where’s the right place for his heart? Your Little Pei’s future is a future, but the little lady’s future is nothing?”

Her tone was rude, and Shi Wudu’s eyes swept over.

“Qingxuan, mind your manners!”

The moment he reprimanded, Shi Qingxuan lowered her head demurely.

...Well, that's slightly concerning.

Shi Wudu opened his fan and continued to lecture his little brother. “Did you hear what General Pei said? Also, how many times do I have to tell you not to walk around outside in that form all the time, what a disgrace. I don’t care what appearance you like, you must use your true form when you’re out!”

Although Shi Qingxuan loved her lady form passionately and wouldn’t stand for his reprimand, still, she didn’t dare oppose her brother.

Well that's more than slightly concerning.

Xie Lian pondered, the Rain Master controlled rain, and was thus the god of agriculture.

He guessed, “Is it because the worshippers of the Rain Master are mostly farmers, so they don’t have the funds for offerings?”

“Your Highness, do you have some kind of misunderstanding of farmers?” Shi Qingxuan said. “A lot of farmers are wealthy, okay? This was only because the Lord Rain Master had said it was better to farm than to use the money for offerings, so the followers had always offered fresh fruits and vegetables instead.”

Hearing this, Xie Lian was extremely envious. “What a marvelous thing,” he thought.

However, Shi Qingxuan added, “And then later the Lord Rain Master also said not to waste anything, so usually after a couple days the worshippers would take home the offerings and eat them themselves.”

The Rain Master has come up all of twice in 91 chapters, and I already stan him with all my heart.


I am, as always, in awe of the maxed luck stat that ensures Hua Cheng access to every single romantic cliché fate could possibly contrive to place him in with Xie Lian. It's like he saw Luo Binghe's literal genre-based reality warping and went, "I could do better."

From the hair on his head to all over his body, Xie Lian’s entire person was dripping with water. His lips were swollen, his eyes blank; it was only after a good moment of disoriented daze before he
mumbled, “I…I…I…”

His stammering “I”s continued, before suddenly, he randomly blurted out, “I’m a little hungry.”

Hearing this, Hua Cheng was taken aback.

Xie Lian hadn’t yet recovered from the shock, and said in a state of jumbled mess, “No. I…I…I’m a little sleepy…”

He flipped around, his back facing Hua Cheng, and bent down to his knees, his hands touching the ground, fumbling as if looking for something.

Behind him, Hua Cheng asked, “What are you looking for?”

Xie Lian didn’t dare look at him, and said incoherently, “I’m looking for a thing. I’m looking for my bamboo hat. Where’s my bamboo hat?”

If it was anyone else watching this scene play out, they would certainly yell, “he’s done for! He’s gone stupid!” But in reality, it was only because Xie Lian had never experienced something like this before, and the shock was too great, making him lose it a little.

Xie Lian crawled on his hands and knees, shuffling away with his back still facing Hua Cheng, mumbling, “...I, I can’t find it. I’m leaving now. I’m going home to eat…I need to go collect some scraps now…”

“...”

“I’m sorry,” Hua Cheng said.

I'm sorry too, but mostly just for laughing as hard as I am at this entire scene.

It didn’t take long before Hua Cheng came forward with his hands clasped behind him, speaking in a serious voice:

“I hadn’t known gege has such an unspeakable affliction?”

Xie Lian immediately cried, “I DON’T!” Then he lamented woefully, “...San Lang.”

Hua Cheng nodded. “Very well. San Lang understands. I won’t speak another word on the subject.”

Today is just even more not Xie Lian's day than all other days, isn't it.

Due to the fact that Lan Chang was a female ghost and couldn’t enter the golden pavilion,

...You know, this is actually a pretty fascinating example of how language can get weird in translation? Because, despite knowing logically that it makes no sense to read it that way, my automatic first interpretation was that her being female was the problem, not her being a ghost. Even though I already know that's not how the setting works, and even though I've read enough of this translation to be familiar with the literal translation of terms like "female ghost" (which presumably sound like normal nouns and not oddly-specific noun phrases in the original), my brain just can't read the sentence above without assuming the adjective is there because it's relevant.

This isn't the first time I've seen this particular quirk of translation (in this book or elsewhere), but it's the first time I've seen it affect the meaning of a sentence at all. Language is so cool. :D


Xie Lian's crisis upon realizing Hua Cheng took his handholding virginity is something.

“Then that’ll be easy,” Jun Wu said. “I have a sword here named ‘Yanzhen’, and it possesses a particular ability. Should the blood of a virgin flow upon it, it shall not be stained, but become brighter as it is washed.

....Of course you do. Who doesn't have one of those lying around, really?

(Heh, the next line is everyone in the room having the same reaction.)

That scimitar was shaking more and more uncontrollably. Xie Lian was at a loss on what to do, and gently stroked down along the spine of the blade.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I didn’t see it was you, I won’t do it again.”

After stroking it a few times, E’ming squinted its eye, and the trembling finally stopped.

you HIT e'ming? you hit e'ming's body with the sword? oh! oh! jail for gege! jail for gege for One Thousand Years!!!!

Ruoye had spent days binding Qi Rong. and was already feeling extremely aggrieved; with the call, it immediately whooshed over and wrapped itself in loops around Xie Lian’s whole body like a white snake. Xie Lian pushed open the door and comforted it as he did so, untying it from his person.

“Alright, alright. I’ll give you a bath in a bit, don’t feel bad. Go play on the side.”

Thus, Ruoye dragged its bandages and dejectedly floated to the side. Hua Cheng also casually tossed E’ming, and E’ming itself assumed a dignified pose on landing. On the wall, Ruoye suddenly discovered a silver, shimmering scimitar leaning next to it, and very carefully approached. That eye on the hilt of the scimitar E’ming also twirled and looked over; its gaze calculating. Fangxin somberly did not move, making no show of acknowledging anything.

!!!!!!!!!!!!

Having shown off its skills, Ruoye arched into an exaggerated, odd form in front of E’ming and Fangxin; as if demonstrating its strength and beauty. The demonstration of beauty didn’t last long; Xie Lian moved again, and placed a plate on the ground before throwing over a big cabbage. Ruoye was just about to strike when suddenly, E’ming’s eye flashed. It flew off the ground; whirling out shimmers of silver light. Leaves of cabbage filled the air, and as they landed on the plate, they had already been thinly and cleanly chopped. Xie Lian squatted down to pick up the plate, and praised when he saw the cabbage.

“Amazing. You cut better than Ruoye!”

Instantly Ruoye pressed itself against the wall; looking like someone backing away, and having nowhere left to run. E’ming, however, started twirling its eye crazily; appearing fully cocky and content, like it had reached a state of sainthood. Between the sabre and the bandage, Fangxin still remained unmoved.

This is the best chapter in the entire book.

Then again, he remembered Jun Wu saying Hua Cheng had planted a spy in the heavenly realm, so maybe Hua Cheng already knew everything?

Incidentally, I keep coming back to this mystery and running in circles. Like, the obvious conclusion seems to be that Ming Yi is a double agent—after a decade undercover, he just happens to need immediate and urgent retrieval back to the heavens literally hours before Hua Cheng successfully breaches their security? And he conveniently turns out to be fairly easy to rescue, but not without the rescue team seeing with their own eyes how Hua Cheng definitely imprisoned and tortured him, and hearing Hua Cheng himself helpfully confirm that this is exactly what happened? (Not to mention that the narrative focus on his eating is clearly trying to foreshadow something, even though I don't know what.) But I'm not sure how to reconcile that with the backstory Jun Wu gave on the situation, so... :\

ETA: Wait, I just thought about this again after sleeping and... I want to say "what was I thinking", but that's not even rhetorical, I genuinely cannot reconstruct what train of thought I could possibly have followed there?? I don't know if I imagined some extra detail to get hung up on or just had a complete lapse of basic logic somehow, but—no, past Keltena, unless I'm missing something, there's nothing contradicting the backstory here. "Heavenly realm suspects Hua Cheng has a spy → Ming Yi helpfully goes to spy on Hua Cheng in return" is the entire backstory, and that matches exactly.

“How is it?” Xie Lian asked.

THUD!

Ming Yi collapsed onto the altar table face-down, as if she lost consciousness. Next to her, two lines of tears silently streamed down Shi Qingxuan’s face.

“...”

Xie Lian asked hesitantly, “My lords, how is it exactly? Will you pull yourselves together, and give me some constructive criticism using words?”

Xie Lian. Honey.

Just then, Ming Yi sat bolt upright. He returned to his male form in a flash. His face was as dark as steel, and his words bore down on Xie Lian oppressively:

“Evil has overtaken my heart. Please exorcise it for me.”

Well. I think that counts as constructive! Xie Lian will need to do some work later to investigate exactly what produced that evil, but Ming Yi has given him clear feedback and suggested next steps.

“Then I want to ask,” Shi Qingxuan said. “Have…have you ever met a ‘Venerable of Empty Words’?”

Xie Lian was taken aback. “A Venerable of Empty Words, who mourn at feasts?”

Shi Qingxuan lowered his voice and replied ominously, “That’s right!”

Suddenly, Xie Lian felt a hair-raising cold breeze blow up his spine, swishing his locks.

At the same time, there seemed to be someone next to his ear, giggling coldly, and humming an exceedingly creepy tune.

Somehow, the sunlight that shone through the windows and cracks, warming the little Puqi Shrine, also dimmed; like the whole place was enveloped in a large shadow. Xie Lian’s extremities were getting colder, icy like steel.

“...”

“...”

“...”

Xie Lian had to clutch his robes tight. He felt this must be brought up directly, and spoke up:

“I have to ask…who’s laughing? Who’s singing? Who’s blowing cold air behind my back? Who made the shrine this dark?”

Shi Qingxuan wiped away his tears and said, “Oh, that’s all me. It’s just a little spell, don’t mind it. It’s just for creating the mood.”

holy shit I'm dying

How is Shi Qingxuan so good. How.

Hua Cheng pointed at a few other names and said, “These ones are wrong, too.”

“And who killed those ones?” Xie Lian asked.

“Black Water killed them,” Hua Cheng said.

Xie Lian was taken aback. “That Black Water Demon Xuan? Doesn’t he always lie low?”

...So Ship-Sinking Black Water just happens to share SQX's birth name, which the backstory dump just now was oddly careful to inform us of? Okay then.

In order to communicate and pass on messages directly through a private spiritual array, one must be able to receive the other party’s verbal password. For example, to reach Shi Qingxuan, one must loudly recite the four lines of the following verse:

“Lord Wind Master is boundlessly talented,

“Lord Wind Master is funny and carefree,

“Lord Wind Master is kind and righteous,

“Lord Wind Master is aged sweet sixteen.”

Lord Wind Master is the actual best, oh my god.

Hua Cheng’s eyes shimmered and he leaned over slightly. “This is my verbal password. Gege, listen closely, I’m only going to say it once.”

Then he whispered a phrase.

After listening, Xie Lian’s eyes widened. “...What? Is that really it? San Lang, you didn’t make a mistake?”

Hua Cheng looked at ease and replied, “Yes, that’s it. If gege doesn’t believe me, why not give it a go?”

Xie Lian didn’t dare. “Then…then doesn’t that mean every time someone tries to reach you they have to recite that phrase three times mentally? W…wouldn’t that be very embarrassing?”

Hua Cheng snickered. “It’s because I don’t want anyone to reach me that I purposely set the password to that phrase. Lets them know to back off. But, if it’s gege who’s trying to reach me, I’m always free.”

Man, I'm trying to think of what this could possibly be. So far, no ideas are standing out to me.

He said, “Alright. Fine. If gege daren’t recite it, then I’ll be the one to reach you. What’s your verbal password?”

Xie Lian turned his head back, and said, “Just recite the Ethics Sutra a thousand times.”

“...”

Hua Cheng cocked an eyebrow. A moment later, Xie Lian heard his voice next to his ear:

“It’s the phrase ‘Just recite the Ethics Sutra a thousand times’, right?”

Oh my god Xie Lian.

Hua Cheng blinked and continued to reply to his messages. “Hahahaha, I was almost fooled. It’s too good.”

Xie Lian blinked too, his delight apparent.

It must be known that this verbal password was something Xie Lian came up with, very seriously, eight hundred years ago. He himself thought it was fun, so he employed it after he ascended. Only, not too many other heavenly officials thought it was amusing; even after they were fooled they were more speechless than entertained. Mu Qing told him directly, “Your Highness, your idea is terrible, forgive me if I can’t laugh.” Although Feng Xin laughed to the point of rolling on the ground screaming himself hoarse, he was a person who laughed at almost any joke for no reason, so him laughing didn’t make Xie Lian feel in the least bit accomplished. Since Hua Cheng laughed, maybe that meant it really was somewhat amusing after all.

This is genuinely the cutest moment these two have had yet. That's how you know you're meant for each other, Xie Lian!

Shi Qingxuan was getting pushed around all over by the flowing crowd, and couldn’t figure out just who looked fishy. This one looked suspicious, and he’d whip out his Wind Master fan to knock at them, but then another over there would look more suspicious. If he struck wrong, then it’d be a life on his hands.

Hua Cheng pushed the veggies he hadn’t touched on his plate into a smiley face, never having looked up once. “It’s useless. It’s too easy for a thousand-year old monster to hide its foxtails.”

Unhelpful background Hua Cheng is the best kind of Hua Cheng.

“Ahem! Fine. Then what, we won. This Wind Master will ask the two of you to do something,” Shi Qingxuan said. “Then, Your Highness, Crimson Rain Sought Flower! I order you to—to immediately strip each other’s clothing!”

Oh for fuck's sake, Hua Cheng's luck stat! This is getting frankly ridiculous.

On the side, Hua Cheng was still only observing, and was already bored to the point where he’d changed back into his red robes. Then he changed to black robes again. Then to white robes. Almost every time Xie Lian looked back, he would be donning a different appearance, and with every new look there were different hairstyles, and different accessories, and different boots, and so on; sometimes playful, sometimes elegant, sometimes deadly, sometimes glamourous. Xie Lian was growing dizzy from all the colours and kept looking back, unable to look away. The moment he realized what he was doing, he blinked fiercely, only just stopping himself from blurting out, “that outfit’s not bad”, or “that looks good”.

Unhelpful background Hua Cheng is the best Hua Cheng.

“What about your surroundings? Like, is the path under your feet jagged or smooth? Have you stepped on anything or kicked anything?” Xie Lian wanted to see if he could draw a general perimeter based on the surrounding environment.

“The path is very strange!” Shi Qingxuan said. “Very soft, very light, like clouds.”

“...”

Xie Lian thought, “You’re probably just weak in the knees from terror...”

Xie Lian, no, you're usually better than this! Why would you pass up weird information that's obviously going to be relevant later?

Xie Lian opened his eyes in a flash. One hand removed the ear plugs, and the other flipped, seizing the Reverend of Empty Words in reverse.

He smiled. “Hi there.”

Shi Qingxuan had his eyes closed for a long time, and it was pitch black all around. Thus, in the instant Xie Lian opened the eyes of this body, he hadn’t yet adjusted to the darkness and couldn’t see anything. However, what was grabbing onto him was now something he was grabbing onto. Ruoye wasn’t around, so Xie Lian cast a hand-locking spell, and secured that hand like a steel cuff to prevent the other from escaping using magic.

Within the communication array came Shi Qingxuan’s voice. “Your Highness! Are you alright? Maybe it’s better if you switch back and I’ll take over myself!!!”

It seemed Shi Qingxuan had also safely switched to his body. Xie Lian had a firm grip on that Reverend of Empty Words, and his leg shot out, kicking at it over thirty times.

I don't know what Xie Lian's kicking any better than he does, but I can't help but feel it's going to be awkward once he finds out.

Having been shoved so forcefully, the esteemed Water Master almost fell to the ground, jumbled and dumbfounded. It was a moment before he called out, “Qingxuan, it’s gege.”

Shi Qingxuan roared, “I KNOW IT’S YOU!!!”

Since he knew it was Shi Wudu and wasn’t delusional, unable to recognize people, then why such a reaction?

Shi Wudu reached for him again. “Everything’s alright now…”

Shi Qingxuan slapped that hand away. “ALRIGHT, MY ASS! How can anything be alright?! Don’t say anything anymore! AAH! I CAN’T TAKE THIS!”

...Well, shit. I'm not sure that's an entirely unreasonable reaction to Shi Wudu, but it's sure as hell not normal Shi Qingxuan.

He reached out ready to check as well, but Shi Wudu slapped his hand away forcefully; glaring at him with fury, like he couldn’t allow Xie Lian to find out just what Shi Qingxuan’s condition was. Soon after, he turned to his younger brother.

“You’re ill. You’re deranged from terror. I’m taking you back for treatment. You will be healed for sure.”

Shi Qingxuan stared at him intently, and slowly enunciated his words: “I am not ill. Whether I’m ill, you should know best! Don’t write me off as crazy, I’m very aware. I’ve never been so aware in my life!”

Shi Wudu grabbed hold of him and dragged him to the carriage, yelling, “You don’t understand anything! Don’t speak nonsense!”

Shi Qingxuan wailed, “MING-XIONG! MING-XIONG, SAVE ME! YOUR HIGHNESS! SAVE ME!”

He reached out with both his arms, grabbing the other two, one with each hand. Xie Lian and Ming Yi both held on to the hands he extended. However, Shi Wudu yanked him away forcibly again.

“Let’s go. Everything’s alright. Gege is here.”

I sincerely admire Shi Wudu's ability to imbue even the most benign of behavior, like rushing an injured sibling home for treatment, with pure essence of "YIKES". This guy could exude an aura of red flags while tying his shoelaces, and I've gotta respect that.

Just then, Ling Wen added, “By the way, Lord Water Master sent a gift over to you. Please remember to take a look, Your Highness.”

Xie Lian was taken aback. “A gift? There’s no need for it. I haven’t done anything deserving of a reward.”

“There’s no need to be humble,” Ling Wen said. “Lord Wind Master grabs anyone to accompany him when he’s feeling impulsive, and you’ve endured hardships by his side for so long. In all manner of speaking, there is no shame in accepting the gift. Lord Water Master said it was nothing but a small show of gratefulness, so just take it.”

...While tying his shoelaces, and definitely while being generous. :P

Feng Xin and Mu Qing? Xie Lian was amazed.

“Why are the two of them fighting again?”

“What else can it be but that business with the fetus spirit? A few of the martial gods were in discussion, debating on how to deal with that ghost mother and son. General Nan Yang suggested bringing that fetus spirit to the refinery to dissolve it, since that creature really did murder a great number of people. But Xuan Zhen wouldn’t let him. His tone wasn’t the nicest, so Nan Yang said, as if you’ve ever been so benevolent, maybe you hold a guilty conscience, and so on.

Still trying to work out where that plotline could be going. I have no idea what's going on with Lan Chang; the only plausible connection I've come up with so far is that noblewoman Mu Qing pointed out at the riots in Book 2, and that would still raise more questions than it answered...

He asked in a low voice, “Lord Earth Master, how did you dig out this tunnel? I’ve never heard that it was possible to dig beneath the residences in the Heavenly Capital.”

"Except for that time Hua Cheng pulled it off, I mean. But that's unrelated."

As the only non-crazy person, Xie Lian brought up the rear.

God, if Mu Qing and Feng Xin heard this thought process... Xie Lian, I hate to break it to you, but uh. That is not, in fact, the case.

Pei Ming raised his sword and said darkly, “Qi Ying, stop looking and come give me a hand. Apprehend them first.”

After some contemplation, Quan Yizhen actually decided to assist.

He leapt down, picked up the bed he was just lying on, and hurled it at Pei Ming.

I repeat: I love this kid already.

Xie Lian blinked, not knowing what else to say, only knowing he suddenly wanted to do something for Hua Cheng. Yet at the moment, there really wasn’t anything he could do for him.

Feeling a little discouraged, he suddenly noticed the collar of Hua Cheng’s red robes, and said, “Wait!”

Then he rushed up to help Hua Cheng fix his collar. Turns out, the collar of the robe Hua Cheng had randomly put on wasn’t properly flipped out. Having fixed it, Xie Lian inspected him for a moment before smiling.

“There.”

Hua Cheng smiled too. “Thanks.”

Oh no, that's so cute. ;_;

Thus, if there must be one who could take Shi Qingxuan’s place to take on his misfortunes, it must be a male who was born the same year, same month, same day, same time, and their name must contain “Xuan”.

How difficult must it be to find such a scapegoat. The world is vast; even if Shi Wudu used his everything to search, there still might not be one. Using the powers and influence of his Water Master status, he cast the net and actually found someone. And it was one who possessed the potential to ascend, about to go through his first Heavenly Calamity!

By coincidence, an almost incomparably-powerful vengeful spirit known for wreaking havoc in the Water Master's domain also shares that name! Wild, huh?

Ming Yi accused darkly, “You really do have spies in the heavens.”

Hua Cheng replied lazily, “Don’t you already know that?”

Are you two having fun? :P

During their exchange, a frightening lightning struck down violently from the ends of the skies upon the surface of the sea. The lightning current coursed through the waters and crackled outward; turning the sea into an aqua colour, like a giant heart suddenly started pulsating and breathing.

Oh, that's pretty.

Xie Lian asked, “One of the four Supremes, Ship-Sinking Black Water?”

“Four Calamities, not four Supremes.”

“...” Xie Lian then remembered that he had forgotten about Qi Rong, and apologized. “Ah, sorry, my mistake.”

Pfffft.

“There’s one type of wood that’s able to float across the Black Water Demon Lair without sinking.”

Xie Lian guessed a few common special wood types. “Sandalwood? Agarwood? Elm?”

“Coffin wood,” Hua Cheng answered.
[…]
Shi Qingxuan interrupted, “Alright, alright, it doesn’t matter how much or how little he knows. Now that the spells have lost their power, where does one go to get a coffin around here?”

“No need, it’s simple,” Pei Ming answered. “Gege and I will build one for you right now, and show you what it means to take things into your own hands and be rich in food and dress.”

“...”

“It won’t work,” Hua Cheng pointed out. “It has to be a coffin that has carried a corpse.”

Said the dead guy, who then returned to being entirely unhelpful in the background. ♥

In a moment of panic, Xie Lian actually put his head against Hua Cheng’s chest in search of a heartbeat. Then, he immediately realized, how could ghosts have a heartbeat? However, to his surprise, he actually heard it. Xie Lian was stunned. A thought quickly came to him.

Logically, in his true form, Hua Cheng shouldn’t be able to drown, but now he had become a seventeen- or eighteen-year-old human, so did the same rule still apply?

Although he felt that Hua Cheng wasn’t the kind to overlook these sort of flaws, there was really no other explanation. No matter what, he wasn’t able to wake him up. After a long internal debate, Xie Lian slowly reached out with his hands and placed them gently around Hua Cheng’s face.

i

are you really

you have now used this exact kiss excuse TWICE IN A ROW, you two ridiculous caricatures of yourselves

I'm dying. This has killed me. I am now as dead as Hua Cheng—deader, frankly, because Hua Cheng is clearly living his best life as we speak!

“Thank goodness gege rescued me earlier. A human body really is quite inconvenient, just going into the sea I’d choke on mouthfuls of salty water. Disgusting.”

Xie Lian wasn’t dumb. He knew that Hua Cheng was giving him an easy out, but he could only follow along and mumbled vaguely with his head bowed.

“It’s nothing, don’t worry about it.”

After a pause, Hua Cheng added, “But, gege didn’t do it correctly.”

Xie Lian was taken aback, and asked with trepidation, “Did I not? I…I thought I only needed to blow in some air.”

“Yeah. That’s incorrect,” Hua Cheng replied. “Don’t do this to anyone else so casually in the future, otherwise…”

I retract my earlier comments. This exchange has fully revived me and added years to my life. (Unlike Xie Lian's understanding of CPR.)

Fortunately, the two didn’t slack off while labouring, even building a cover for the coffin; otherwise, it wouldn’t take long for it to be filled with rainwater once it was pushed into sea, and sink into the depths.

The two looked at each other, and Xie Lian said in a low voice, “Sorry.”

Hua Cheng didn’t say anything more, either, and laid down inside the coffin. Xie Lian entered too, and pulled the cover closed. As if a light was blown out, they sunk into darkness.

...

My MXTX bingo card really should have had an "intimate coffin experiences" square, huh.

“San Lang…how about we change around?”

“Change what?” Hua Cheng asked.

“...You on top and me on the bottom,” Xie Lian replied.

“Isn’t top and bottom the same?” Hua Cheng asked.

It really is stunning, the sheer trust these two have in each other. I can't think of anyone I'd dare start a debate on topping order with while trapped in a small, enclosed space in the middle of the sea.

Pei Ming pulled out his sword and said leisurely, “Yeah. There’s the coffin wood, but where’s the deceased?”

Hua Cheng smiled, too. “If you’re so concerned with who’s dead, I suggest you go kill yourself.”

Hua Cheng, master of friendly banter. :')

Based on Xie Lian’s years of experience, even if there was something inside, it wouldn’t come out and greet them the moment the doors opened. Yet he had to eat his own words. Upon the first look, there was something petrifying.

In the grand, spacious centre of the entrance hall sat a person. And this person, dressed in all black, its face snow-white—was a corpse!

Instantly Xie Lian shut the doors soundly.

He thought, “Did I maybe open the doors incorrectly? Something like that shouldn’t show itself so fast?”

He had wanted to try greeting again and start over, but Shi Wudu had already walked past him and pushed open the doors, humphing.

I'm cackling. I love you, Xie Lian.

“Then…whose bones could these be?” Shi Qingxuan wondered.

The group of them surrounded that haunting skeleton and started examining it. Xie Lian spoke up.

“First, it’s a man.”

“We see that,” the group said.

Xie Lian continued, “Second, this man’s hands and feet should be fairly dextrous, especially his fingers. He should have practiced some sort of martial art, but his skills might not be strong. For the majority of exceptional martial artists trained in a pure body, the bone structure shouldn’t be like this.”

... I mean. That's basically just saying it's Ming Yi, given the narration has gone out of its way this whole arc to remind us he's not a martial god, so... Ming Yi is Black Water, then?? I mean, it's not implausible or anything, but I need a moment to reorient my thoughts because I hadn't even considered that angle. Been questioning Ming Yi's exact motives on this mission, certainly—he's spent the whole time obviously knowing too much and selectively utilizing it when the party needs a push—but I already knew in general terms that he was a double agent, and I had no reason to think he had any identity other than "Earth Master Ming Yi". I guess it's less that Hua Cheng had a spy in the heavens, more that he knew a guy infiltrating them, huh?

...God, all his "we're not friends" comments at Shi Qingxuan have been 100% serious, haven't they? Beautiful. ♥

However, Shi Qingxuan countered, “Everyone’s about equally useless right now, so it doesn’t matter. This whole thing had nothing to do with Ming-xiong, but he had to suffer like this, I…” He sighed. “I feel really bad.”

I'm sure Ming-xiong fully agrees! :)


...Ah, there actually was an original Ming Yi, huh? I guess that would only make sense, now that we know this one is a ghost; I hadn't really considered it until now. RIP shovel god, I'm sure you were great.


Well. I'll reserve judgment until this plotline has fully resolved, but as far as first impressions, I've gotta say... For the guy who walked away from that fight with his limbs attached, He Xuan got kind of wrecked. I mean, so did Shi Wudu, of course, and I'm sure he would very much have preferred not dying! But aside from that, it sure looked like he got exactly what he wanted out of He Xuan.

Then again, on the other hand*... Shi Wudu almost certainly didn't intend to die in a manner that would doom him to an eternity of both arm and head puns about his death. And while puns are pretty 'armless in the grand scheme of things, I don't think he'd exactly be pleased if he knew. I doubt He Xuan intended that either, of course, so he doesn't get points for it, but I'm docking Shi Wudu's just slightly for failing to consider the long-term consequences of making He Xuan lose his† head.

In short, Shi Wudu definitely comes out ahead, but not head and shoulders above the competition due to a few missteps (dying; leaving corpse wide open to memes). Scoring is, of course, subject to adjustment pending post-mortem comments from He Xuan. (Shi Wudu may be too post-mortem for comment.)

* The one over there on the floor.
† Fun fact: The English language lacks reflexive possessive pronouns, much like Shi Wudu lacks a head and forearms.

At the same time, Xie Lian’s soul was suddenly yanked out and thrust upward!

When he fell back down and reopened his eyes, he was lying limply in the embrace of a red-clad man. With one hand gently grasping his chin, Hua Cheng was kissing him deeply. No wonder Xie Lian had felt the spiritual power supporting the Soul-Shifting Spell was slipping away so rapidly. Turned out, Hua Cheng had used the fastest and most effective way to suck out all the powers he lent Xie Lian, and successfully brought Xie Lian’s soul back into his own body.

... Hang on, let me adjust the sign.

It has been 05 00 chapters since our last contrived reason to kiss.

Seeing Xie Lian come to, Hua Cheng parted his lips slowly, seeming to pull away. However, under such dire circumstances, Xie Lian couldn’t care that much anymore. He raised both his arms, circled them around his neck, and moved to suck back the spiritual powers Hua Cheng had sucked away.

Clearly, Hua Cheng hadn’t expected him to do this, and it took him by surprise as spiritual powers flowed back the other way. Afraid he was going to break away, Xie Lian cupped his face with his hands, flipped their bodies over and pushed Hua Cheng onto the ground, pressing him down. A wave of cool current poured into his body and streamed down his throat into his stomach, warm and pleasant.

I'm laughing so hard. Say what you will about Xie Lian, he's certainly adaptable!

“The curse of the Black Water Demon Lair has dispersed.”

Taken aback, Pei Ming tested it with his sword; sure enough, with but one swing a field of large trees fell. His spiritual powers had returned. Speechless for a moment, Pei Ming shook his head.

“Had I known, I wouldn’t have worked so hard to build these coffins.”

It was true that he did labour tirelessly all night. He made coffins for four, but three of them were now useless.

Hah.

After some thought, he still asked, “San Lang, what do you think that Black Water Demon Xuan will do to Lord Wind Master?”

I dunno, but I'll happily take like five chapters of it.

Ship-Sinking Black Water had emerged from Mont Tong’lu, slaughtering millions of ghosts. Crimson Rain Sought Flower was the same. He Xuan had endured years by himself; the time Hua Cheng had endured alone couldn’t be any less.

What made the Ship-Sinking Black Water of today was hatred. Then, what about Crimson Rain Sought Flower?

Hua Cheng's raison d'être aside (since Xie Lian is either genuinely oblivious or... being Xie Lian on that subject), "cursed with incredible misfortune" does seem to be a running theme for our Supremes, huh? I guess it's like being a witch that way: people don't become ghost kings by choice. If they'd been able to live their lives as humans, they would have.